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Vindicated

Posted on 2010.01.07 at 18:11
Well, after everyone looked into it, turns out I was right. Monday was a workday, and we were the only ones who caught it.

Ah, hell, I am off to being harsh and critical again!

I am certain now that I am
VINDICATED
I am selfish, I am wrong
I am right, I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along

Virgos

Posted on 2010.01.04 at 07:28
I realized this morning that I shouldn't be so harsh and critical. I can't help it, though. I'm a Virgo. Like just last night I was thinking of every boss I ever had, and how some of them were morons and I can't believe there is a world that exists where I would work for them instead of vice versa but that is how the system works sometimes. And then this morning I made a major whoopsy at work and I know I'm gonna hear about it and I can almost hear my boss slapping her forehead and squinting her eyes over this one. I'm sure I disappointed alot of people who worked for me, too. I missed an e-mail that said today was a day off. And my whole crew showed up, the only ones. GAH!

For the record when I called about which days were workdays, I got a different answer. But after that phone call, there was the e-mail I missed. I guess I'm not perfect either. Some of my worker-bees are probably having some of the very same thoughts about me that I had about my former bosses right now.

That kind of thing makes me nervous. I really need to pay more attention to e-mails and get better at this. I wonder if I should just stay with the job I have. I plan to quit in 2011. But I would be missing out on some great benefits and if I stuck with it for 10 more years I could get a pension. On the other hand, though, there is a lot of travel involved (ALOT) and I hate it.

I wish they would just let me do something else b/c I hate my field so much. And the future jobs I may hold also have no appeal for me. To be fair, a few years ago they offered to let me change jobs as an incentive to stay on for a few more years but I took a cash bonus instead with the thought that I wasn't going to stay in this for very much longer anyway. And on the bright side this field that I'm in is HIGHLY disliked by all and has a large amount of quitters, which results in basically assured promotions.

But the travel! It's insane. Friends of mine in this line of work, who are in a different field, do a fraction of the travel I do. But b/c of the shortages I was mentioning above, I get moved from one traveling assignment to another. I really just want to do something different. But that is sort of a catch-22 also b/c without being in a field that was short and constantly traveling, I may not see the promotions. Sigh.........................

Napping

Posted on 2010.01.02 at 18:02
Ian is napping. It was hard work getting him to take this nap. He struggled 'til the end. Now it is 6 pm and I usually don't let him sleep this late but since he didn't really nod off 'til about an hour ago, I think I'll let him go for another 30 minutes or so.

I think this is a good time to trim his toenails....He won't let me do it when he's awake...

New furniture, new year

Posted on 2009.12.31 at 21:55
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
It sounds like fireworks are going off outside, probably down by the water. People always do fireworks by the water. It is a little early for it. Maybe somebody's having a party.

As for me, Ian and I went furniture shopping today. We got alot of new stuff. I'm so glad b/c this stuff will fit my growing family. A bigger couch, more chairs, also a bigger table with more chairs, and finally a bedroom set. This is the first time I ever bought bedroom furniture. I haven't been a dresser, mirror, nightstand girl thus far. More of a mattress on the floor type, which is actually more comfortable than a real bed, believe it or not. Little secret I learned when my bed broke a while ago. But I decided since I was on a roll to go ahead and get the bedroom suite, too. Set me back 10K. 24 months same as cash. I will have it paid off before then, but everyone says I'm crazy b/c I want to quit my job in a year or two and here I am buying all this furniture. Well, I call myself and insane optimist. I will have this furniture and my car paid off by then.

Now a bird is chirping outside. Is every species partying except me? LOL.

Ian had a bubble bath tonite to celebrate the eve of the new year. I felt kind of bad b/c I decided I had to thoroughly clean my house to get ready for the new furniture. Ian took this as an opportunity to climb on the table again and again after every time I chased him off. I hate when I have to tell him no repeatedly and be the bad guy b/c really I am all Ian has for company. He can't get on the internet or phone and reach out to his friends/family. He can't blog. All he has is me. And if I am mean to him (by disciplining him), then all he has is an old grouch for company and that's sad. I always give him a big hug after I tell him no or to get down and cuddle him for awhile.

Well, time to get onto some other things. Happy New Year Ian, Asher, and Daddy!

Hugs

Posted on 2009.12.29 at 21:12
My son is hugging alot more lately. It's so darn cute, probably b/c I hug him so much. I am doing my best to turn him into a complete mama's boy.


Reading Material

Posted on 2009.12.29 at 00:20
Current Mood: awakeawake
I can't sleep right now. I was having a strange/disturbing dream, I think it's b/c I read Dean Koontz before I went to bed. I am a big Dean Koontz fan but now with the pregnancy and already having the proclivity for strange dreams--eh, suffice it to say it's a bad combination to read that stuff before bed these days. I don't even want to talk about it, it was so weird and disturbing. I have had such disturbing dreams during this pregnancy. Maybe like 4 or 5 total but I don't usually have disturbing dreams, so the few I have make it seem like a lot.

Anyway, I got 3 new Dean Koontz books for Christmas but I am going to hold off until after the baby is born to read them. If I have time to read after the baby is born. haha.

Teen Moms

Posted on 2009.12.27 at 19:12
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
The thing I like about blogging is this is my place to air my one-sided opinions to the universe. Those that disagree can go blog about it on their own blog. Anyhow, my big hobby over here is voyeurism, by that I mean watching any kind of reality TV and reading other people's blogs. Tonite I'd like to comment on the characters on MTV's reality series Teen Mom.

Maci-Probably the most togethor of the teen mom's on the show. But she has the least supportive of the baby's daddies on the show.

Catelynn-Spoiled and mouthy. She can't even afford her own place to live but screams insults at the people who provide her with the roof over her head and the food she eats. It was probably for the best that she gave her kid up for adoption b/c she is in no way prepared to take care of another human being. She can't see past her own needs or consider others.

Farrah-More spoiled than Catelynn but less mouthy, although she is really immature and a brat. Again, we have a situation where a young woman can't provide for herself and still has the nerve to tell off the people who do provide for her. I am starting to see a trend with these teen moms. They are ungrateful to their caregivers without any repercussions. Farrah is so immature that the advice her mother and sister try to give her never sinks in and she makes arguments with them defending her poor choices.

Amber-Sigh. Amber is the most lucky of any of the girls b/c she has a man who is actually providing a home for her and the kid, and working, and puts up with her b.s. all the time. Maci's guy works, but he is mean and selfish. Amber's guy seems more sincere. Amber, has the nerve to think that what she does (stay home with the kid) is harder than what he does (breadwinner). Amber clearly has never worked anywhere for any length of time. Amber you are lucky, treat your guy better, working is worse. Amber is another ingrate like Farrah and Catelynn.

I think the common theme is that the last three girls don't have serious employment and depend on someone else to take care of them, and they treat the person taking care of them like poop. Maybe there is some co-dependancy going on there. I would never be allowed to get away with that. I think parents need to have a healthy dose of intolerance for their kids when it comes to things like mouthing off and asserting unearned independance. And I still (in my 30s) am not allowed to have the relationship with my parents that these girls have. Telling them to shut up and calling them losers. It's shocking to me, to see what these girls get away with.

Of course, now I'm a mom. I never get mad at my son, but sometimes I have to be stern with him b/c he is getting to the point where he tries to play dangerous games. Like climbing up on things that are high/unsturdy and jumping off. I hope that I will have the strength to tell him to toe the line and behave b/c I love him so much and want to give him everything. But when you do that you end up with brats for kids like the teen moms up there.

Introspection on Aging-I'm not pathetic, you are!

Posted on 2009.12.25 at 22:12
Current Mood: pessimisticpessimistic
Maybe I don't get it. But there is a difference in my attitude towards aging and my pregnancy and other women's attitudes towards their pregnancies. I work with alot of pregnant people. They all seem like they are embarrassed of it, they try to hide it and stay out of maternity clothes for as long as possible. Why?

I tried for MONTHS (no YEARS) to get pregnant, so when I got pregnant I was tootin' my horn, in pregnancy clothes probably way too early, but I was really proud of my condition. It was a long hard road for me to get pregnant. Then I see other women doing everything they can to seem like they are not pregnant. I just don't get it. Are they embarrassed to be pregnant? They don't tell anyone about it, they try to hide their bellies for as long as possible. Why?

Maybe it is b/c they aren't married? For some of them, maybe that's the case...

But maybe it's also a looks thing. Some women maybe want to look and dress like teenagers all their life when in reality they may be pushing 30. Or 32 in my case. I can understand that if your occupation, or livelihood, depended on your looks. I think for some of them they have asshole husbands or boyfriends who make them feel like they will leave them if they don't dress/look like a teenager all their life. That's kind of sad, but some guys are like that. For all of me and TJ's problems, I'm confident that he wouldn't dump me, the mother of his children, over something superficial. Alot of men would. Society is sad that way.

We are so obsessed with female appearance, that our family unit is even threatened by it. The family unit is supposed to be the base and strength of our society, so how did we get to the point where that is threatened by looks? I guess we (society) are watching too much TV.

So, anyway, the theme is, most pregnant women don't want to look pregnant b/c they are embarrassed about their situation or insecure about their looks. In my opinion.

But that leads me to aging. What is with all this anti-aging propaganda? Have to dye your hair, have to fake tan, have to risk the life of you unborn children by gaining the least amount of weight as possible and dieting through your pregnancy so you don't get stretch marks. This is really going to far. Some women are endangering the lives of their unborn children to stay skinny. B/c they don't want to look like they ever had a kid. Maybe that goes back to the pressure from the homefront to be eternally youthful.

I used to be superficial, too. But miscarriages changed my viewpoint on things. I'm ok with stretch marks if it means I'll have a healthy baby. My husband is ok with them, too, I think b/c he is just happy to have boys who look like him. But it's just sad that society has deteriorated to the point that women try to look like little girls, when it means putting so much at risk, b/c of the implied threats of their mates. That's what I really think it is.

I don't care about gray hair, anymore, either. I do have a few. I used to pluck it out, but now, I feel silly doing that. I am 31, with 2 kids, of course I have a few gray hairs. Why should I make myself into some kind of freak to stop the aging process? Aging is natural. It's not ugly. I have a textured abdomen and a few gray hairs but that is what you are supposed to look like. If you are 30-something without gray hair, stretchmarks-or you have done some kind of disfiguring things to your face with plastic surgery and dress in kids' clothes, you are the freak, the unnatural looking thing and what is wrong with society. Don't buy into this crap. Playing with your kids on a beach in a one-piece is an alright, acceptable place to be in your 30s. Shopping at pac sun with a childlike hair do/color is what is a little weird.

Sometimes I look up people I knew from long ago on facebook or myspace. When I see them dressing like teenagers, with teenager gelled-up hair-dos, I chuckle a little bit b/c it's so pathetic when you're over 30 to still do that. You can still look good or attractive (if that's what their going for) in age-appropriate wear. So, listen up all you 30-somethings, get out of the kids' clothes and into some adult wear. And what is with those I-love-me pictures? I understand that is a phase most people go through in their teenage years when they first discover a camera, I went through it myself. But shouldn't you have friends, or a pet, or a spouse, or kids to take pictures with you after you've lived on this planet for that many years? Really. Seriously. If you haven't made it as a model by now you-30-somethings, it is probably not going to happen, so add some other things to your life. It will enrich it.

horrible constant pain

Posted on 2009.12.21 at 18:17
The baby has been pushing up against my diaphragm for the last 2 days. It hurts, it feels like getting punched in the solar plexis. That same ache. It feels a little better when I lie down, so I am practically bed-ridden over here. I only get up when I can endure it, but I still have to clean house and run errands so I just have to get used to this pain. I read on the internet that the baby won't drop lower until about 4 weeks from now. So, I guess I have to go around in pain for that long. I told TJ that this is it, no more babies. This is really hard on my body.

You are perfect.

Posted on 2009.12.19 at 21:17
Current Mood: pleasedpleased
I was watching Ian sleep and just thinking of how perfect he is. I feel so bad that he is still tender from the surgery and I have to give him medicine that hurts him but in the long run helps him heal. I love him so much, you should see how cute he is. Just now when he was sleeping he was doing this little sleepy face where he pursed his lips a few times and squinted his eyes. It was just adorable. I have to marvel over him when he is sleeping b/c when he's awake he is going 500 miles per hour in 4 different directions and not slowing down for any cuddles. Typical boy. Yesterday morning, when he got up he came over to me and gave me a big smacky kiss to wake me up.

How precious, he never did that before. Then he proceeded with the rest of his wake-mommy-up routine, which is mostly rolling over me again and again and pushing his face against my face really hard. Ian, mommy loves you. You will be an excellent big brother. You are perfect.


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